This week, I decided not to write about a specific subject. I decided to just share some funny observations I have made about the verses in the bible. Please, take these with a grain of salt!

In Genesis 25:30, We find one of the first accounts of Chili being offered to eat.

“He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom – pronounced Eat them?)”

If you have ever watched the movie, “Shrek”, it features a talking Donkey. Now donkeys can’t talk but the Bible does speak of a talking Donkey! In Numbers 22:30, “The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”

Did you know that Alabama is mentioned in the Bible?
Ezekiel 20:29 - Then I said to them: What is this high place you go to?’” (It is called Bamah to this day.) I know, that was a reach!

The disciples also had their own car.
Acts 2:1 - And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one (Honda) Accord in one place.

Some of the Christians in the Bible met in the famous Washington DC Hotel.
Nehemiah 8:1 (NIV)
…all the people assembled as one man in the square before the Water Gate.

There was also reckless driving in the bible:
2 Kings 9:20 (NIV)
The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi--he drives like a madman."

The book of Proverbs is full of funny verses...
Proverbs 29:20 (NIV)
There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.

It’s better to be considered a fool than to open your mouth and leave out all doubt.


Proverbs 31:6 (NIV)
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

That’s just disgusting!

Proverbs 27:14 (NIV)
If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.

In other words, don’t wake me up with your prayer.


Proverbs 31:6 (NIV)
Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish.

Perish the thought!

Then there are the just weird verses...
Job 19:17 (NIV)
My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers.

Maybe if he brushed more often…


Acts 20:9 (NIV)
As Paul spoke on and on, a young man named Eutychus, sitting on the windowsill, became very drowsy. Finally, he fell sound asleep and dropped three stories to his death below.

Moral of this verse is: If your listening to a sermon, leave after the first story.

Deuteronomy 14:21 (NIV)
Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner...

Road kill: this has a lot of wrong in it.

I have also compiled a few, errrrr, interesting names in the bible:
Zippor (brother of Zippo?)
Ham
Nimrod
Mash
Jobab (like Joe Bob),
Dorcas (I think I would change this)

Talk about your silent treatment:
Revelations 8:1 (NIV)
When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.


Psalms 118 has some interesting facts...
1. Psalm 118 is the middle chapter of the entire Bible.
2. Psalm 117, before Psalm 118 is the shortest chapter in the Bible.
3. Psalm 119, after Psalm 118 is the longest chapter in the Bible.
4. The Bible has 594 chapters before Psalm 118 and 594 chapters after Psalm 118.
5. If you add up all the chapters except Psalm 118, you get a total of 1188 chapters.
6. 1188 or Psalm 118 verse 8 is the middle verse of the entire Bible.

And what is the message found in verse 118? "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." - Psalm 118:8


Funnies:
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The boy listened closely as the Pastor read the Bible. 'May I ask a question?' he asked. 'Sure. Go ahead. Ask your question,' replied the Pastor. 'Well, the Bible says that the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea-the children of Israel built the temple-the children of Israel did this and the children of Israel did that. Didn't the grown-ups ever do anything?'
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On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, 'Well, I guess we won't have a service today.' The farmer replied: 'Pastor, even if only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it.'
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The new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card, wrote 'Revelation 3 verse 20' on the back and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3 verse 10.'
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3 verse 20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'
Genesis 3 verse 10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'