Don’t Pull your Punches!

Before I went into the Navy, I spent 3 months hanging with my friends. We drank; smoked; hunted (while we drank and smoked) and generally made a nuisance of ourselves. Why I never got busted or arrested? I guess God had different plans.
During this time of being a free spirit, my friends would continuously harass and ridicule me. They kept trying to remind me of what I would be missing once I joined the Navy. The thing is when I reported to my first duty as a Sailor, that first day; the first person I met was the man that got me curious about Jesus. I heard of Jesus but I didn’t know Jesus till this day.
What is my point? Friendship is extremely important and crucial to those in our society today. Many people feel that friendship is the single most important thing in one’s life; that nothing should come between friends.
Do you want to know something; they are right. Friendship is an important thing and it is special and it is something that needs to be cherished. Some of the greatest relationships we will have in life are those that we have with close friends and I am sure that there are those of us that can affirm that and could share stories of people who are close to them and who have been lifelong friends.
What makes someone a friend?
Is it their willingness to not let anything come between you and them?
Is it their ability to make you laugh and have fun?

Someone who is a true friend will be your friend no matter what you go through and no matter what happens to you. A true friend will be your friend if you put on 50 pounds or if you get married or if you lose the use of your arms or your legs. A true friend will love you at all times, no matter what. Physical or mental condition plays no factor in determining true friendship.
Proverbs 17:17 says: “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”
Recently, a very close friend of mine sat me down and they let me have it – in a good way. They were straight with me, flat out cut to the core honest with some things that they had noticed in my life. They, in a loving way, told me the observations they had made of the things which were holding me back from being all that God has for me to be and the behavior patterns they have observed which are holding me back from experiencing life to God’s fullest and His best.
I realized that they were right and that they were only telling me this because they loved me and wanted the best for me. This person is a genuinely, real friend. When the conversation had ended my friend asked me if I was mad at them for telling me what they had told me. I simply answered, “No”, and then proceeded to thank them for being honest.
Do you know how refreshing and encouraging it was for me to hear that. At the time my friend was pouring out the observations they had made of some potentially damaging traits in my life I was shocked and my ego was damaged a little, but when it was all said and done, God used those words of honesty to motivate me to take action and rid my life of those behavior patterns.
Do you want to know something? Ever since that conversation I have been successful, with God’s help, in getting rid of those damaging traits in my life and it all started with heartfelt honesty from a very dear friend who said, “I want you to experience life to God’s fullest and best.”
Who wants a friend who is going to lie to you all the time and always tell you what you want to hear? I know I don’t want friends like that. Friends like that aren’t really your friends. People who tell you what you want to hear must not really care about you because they are content to see you suffer with mediocrity and settling for second best in your life. They are afraid to speak the truth because they are afraid they might cause some ripples in the pond of your life or cause a little discomfort in your relationship.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down his friend can pick him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
I want to challenge you today that if you do not have friendships like this, search for those who would fit the description and begin to talk with them. I want to challenge you to establish genuine friendships with others. I believe that the early church in Acts 2 is how God intended for His church to be and I believe that will come by having genuine friendships begin and grow.
Want to be my friend?
Don’t pull any punches then!

Forgive & Forget NOT Revenge & Regret

Please forgive me…I’m not perfect. Praise the Lord!!!

Being not perfect, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have attempted to atone for my failings but unfortunately, I can’t remember them all. I doubt you can as well and I’m sure you have made one mistake in your life. Maybe one that you don’t remember; maybe one you did when you were younger: and maybe one you’re doing right now!

That’s were forgiveness comes in.

How many of you realize that, without compassion of the Lord Jesus Christ, you would not be sitting here reading this?

Some may ask, well how can I forgive them?

Situations that require forgiveness are ones where the pain inflicted is personal, unfair and deep. Things like betrayal, brutality, abuse, manipulation and gossip (all physical and emotional aspects). We hurt; we are likely to find some hatred in our heart. Specifically with hatred is the time most needed to forgive.

These times also breed a revengeful heart (a symptom of hatred). The rule of the world is “do unto others as they have done unto you”. We try to separate ourselves from the pain and hatred. We involve ourselves in things that are important to us, to distract from the negative. We even blame ourselves saying , “It’s partially my fault, I should have never let that person get so close”.

When we choose to forgive, we choose to lay aside our right to extract revenge or blame. Once we make that decision, we give God a chance to operate. We leave the ultimate justice and vengeance to God. We deliberately choose for ourselves the path of forgiveness.

Some would argue that choosing such a path is inevitably going to make us a patsy; yielding all our power and are going to end up as a doormat. Yet there is a power unleashed in this decision that cannot come from any other source.

Someone once did something to me that really hurt me. They attacked me while I was going to pick up a friend, and beat me senseless. They tried to strangle me and also cut my throat. I was a new Christian at the time; I had just got saved a few months before. In the man’s statement to the Police as to why he did it, mistaken identity. He thought I was someone else.

While awaiting the trial date, I hated! My hatred was so deep I sat and plotted to destroy this man’s life no matter what the consequences. God worked on my heart though and by the time of the trial, I was more at peace with his actions.

He was tried and released into the custody of the Military (That’s a longer story). I visited him in the Navy Brig (jail) and told him I forgave him. With a very genuine attitude, he apologized to me. I’m not sure what ever happened to him but I’m sure God was there for him.

Would it have made it harder on this man to forgive himself, if I didn’t forgive him?

When we have been wronged, we like to caricature our wrong doer. We see them in one way and one way only. Forgiveness requires us to look for the real person behind what we have created in our minds. We begin to see they are weak, needy and fallible. We begin to reason for our hearts to turn toward mercy instead of hate.

Why?

Didn’t God do this for us? Didn’t God look beyond our sin and saw something worth loving?

Maybe it’s a good idea that we should look beyond the typical stereotypes and signs. Maybe we should do what Jesus taught us to do, Love!

We need to treat others the way Jesus treated others.

God did it for you!